10 Things To Do With Your Leftover Turkey

I hope your Thanksgiving was great. If it was anything like mine, you still made a full bird even though you had a small, at-home gathering to avoid spreading this raging pandemic. The next day, you went to the fridge and discovered even more leftovers than usual. You don’t want to be wasteful, but there’s just so much of it! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ALL THIS LEFTOVER TURKEY?! Don’t worry. I got you covered.

Here are 10 things to do with your leftover turkey:

SAVE THE BONES

Now you have a spooky bird skeleton to decorate with next Halloween.

TOSS IT IN THE BLENDER

Now, leave it there. Just walk away. Next time your roommate goes to make a smoothie, he’ll realize he’s been pranked. You’ll laugh and laugh.

MAKE A THANKSGIVING LEFTOVERS PIZZA

Americans will turn anything into a pizza. Embrace the abomination! Get the recipe here: Thanksgiving Leftover Pizza by The Stay At Home Chef

PLACE IT ON TOP OF YOUR FENCE

You know, to exert your dominance over other birds in the neighborhood.

USE IT TO COMMIT AN EPIC MURDER!

For legal reasons, I have to say I don’t condone this one. But, if you WERE going to commit an unforgettable murder — the kind that people might write books and record podcasts about — why not use your turkey?! I’m just spitballing here. Put poison in it and feed it to Keith Richards and Mick Jagger. Now, you’ve killed two Stones with one bird. The book title writes itself. Sorry about this one. I needed to have ten items for my list. Just be cool and move on.

TREAT YOUR DOG!

Give your pet some turkey, and return the love it gives you every day. Who’s a good boy?

STORE IT IN FOREVERWARE!

If you’ve ever seen the pilot episode of Eerie, Indiana, you know all about Foreverware. These everlasting containers lock in freshness for eternity, leaving Tupperware in the dust.

If Foreverware is good enough to keep these twins young, it’ll have no problem sustaining your turkey’s freshness for twelve months.

USE IT AS A BOOKMARK!

The next time you go to read, there’ll be a tasty meat treat waiting for you!

LEAVE IT UNDER YOUR PILLOW

The tooth fairy won’t know WHAT to do!

MAKE A TURKEY SANDWICH

You’re in for a real treat! Just in case you’re new to the sandwich-making game, here’s a handy how-to guide: